Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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