If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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