I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
did you just send me my own nude
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
