Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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