I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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