9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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