that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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