I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize