Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
