stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
