does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the day after is always just damage control
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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