Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
