I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
