Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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