i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
