Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
