I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
