you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
