Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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