WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
