I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My feet surprised me
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