The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
