i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
