Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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