No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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