The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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