Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Acid is not a monday night drug
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
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you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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