Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Randomize
