Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
