No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
MIDGETS
????
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize