We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
