i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
