And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
