I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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