Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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