The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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