Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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