brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
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Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
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When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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