Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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