You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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