I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
