my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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