1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
