Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
