What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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