you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
