so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
