Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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