he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
