Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
