he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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