Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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