In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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