Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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