In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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