can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
