Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
