that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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