would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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