hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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