Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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