If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
