May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
