i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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