Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
