I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize