Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
