i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My balls are so social today.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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