Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
