1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't