Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window