That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there