sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
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Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
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do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.