Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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