My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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