Don't make out with my wife yet
I can text with my tongue
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize