My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
